Dick Cheney Tried to Kill Me

Last night I dreamed that Dick Cheney tried to kill me. I was sitting in my Grandfather's living room at some sort of family gathering (perhaps the Welcome Back Kevin party my mom wants to have). For some reason, Dick Cheney was there. Maybe the connection was in my brain because my uncle David bears a striking resemblance to the evil vice president. In my dream, I began ranting against conservative politics just to stir things up. This is something I often do at family gatherings in reality. But in reality, Dick Cheney isn't present. What began as a low grumble from the vice president, ended in an all out attack. It was like a reenactment of the final scenes of Mario Bros. 3 when Mario defeats Bowser by continually dodging his clumsy attacks. The best part of the dream was my family sitting and watching this happen with looks that said "you brought this on yourself."

Here is an incriminating photo of Uncle Dick Cheney in my home next to an adorable baby picture of me.